EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a guest post by a very dear friend of mine.  I’ve known him for many years now, and in the last two or three months I’ve witnessed him transform from a negative, pessimistic, bored, and unmotivated person to a positive, happy, driven, don’t-take-no-for-an-answer type of guy.  I asked him what was the cause of his big turnaround.  He responded with the post I’ve included below.  I’m honored to be the host of this wonderful collection of inspiring advice.  And I hope many of you can relate and benefit from his advice as well.

1) Procrastination is bad. If you’re unhappy, your state of mind often won’t change without an effort to actively seek change. The days, weeks and months go by and then you might wonder how you’ve endured a situation for so long. Negative emotions build over time and you may feel increasingly trapped. Taking control of your situation immediately could be the first step to happiness.

2) Plan your financial situation for the long-term. If quitting your job is what you need to move on to the next step in your life, that decision is unlikely if you don’t have some savings. Quitting a job without another employment opportunity lined up is sometimes necessary because it makes available more time to search for other opportunities and can contribute to your general happiness, making you more confident and allow you to project a better attitude to all who you encounter, including potential employers. Maybe sleeping on a friend’s couch for a few months is an option; there are many to explore.

3) Beware of emphasizing money as your guiding factor in life. Obviously money has varying importance in people’s lives. For people who have a spouse or dependents to support, money could be of greater necessity than someone who is single. If it means your income must go down to increase your happiness, and you can still live comfortably, it’s probably a healthy decision.

4) Continually challenge yourself (Never be intimated). Being confident can allow someone to make decisions they truly desire, but are difficult decisions to execute. As long as you’re being respectful and not harming others, recognize what you wish you could do and set incremental challenges for yourself to meet those goals. There will be setbacks, but with perseverance, in challenging yourself, you will build your confidence and probably your happiness.

5) Seeing decisions as binary can cause anxiety. Success and happiness are never reduced to one situation. Some people choose to define themselves by certain achievements like going to a particular school, working at a particular company or getting a particular score on a test. Most people don’t get exactly what they want and rather than allowing a disruption in plans to depress, it’s important to slow down, be creative and think about your range of options. What seems like a disappointment in the present could be a blessing in the future, or a detriment, depending on how the situation is approached.

6) Consulting professionals or friends for advice is helpful. Consulting professionals is expensive and consulting friends is not, so considering what you can afford is as important as considering which path can provide the most assistance.

7) Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Sometimes experiencing life without a grand plan can be a rewarding emotional experience. In our very structured society there is always a need to plan. Just because society emphasizes having a detailed plan does not mean you have to (in the short-term).

8) Focus on projecting positive energy. With friends, colleagues, family…. It’s healthier and emotionally easier to be happy. Determine your plan to maintain happiness. One example, there’s evidence that regular exercise increases positive emotions. If you tend to be negative, devise a plan.

9) Don’t blame yourself. If your life isn’t going as planned, don’t enter a downward spiral by attributing all perceived failures as your fault. If you are blaming yourself, you’re probably ignoring your many accomplishments. Be balanced with self-critique. Use it as a tool to make your future decisions.

10) Comparing yourself to others serves no logical purpose. Acknowledge who you are and what makes you unique, both positive and negative qualities. Placing your accomplishments only in the context of others is harmful, regardless of whether you’re doing it to belittle or build-up yourself.

I decided to watch Forrest Gump on my plane ride back from New York. (I have a longer writeup about our trip coming soon.) I hadn’t seen the movie since I was a teenager. Apart from it possibly being the most amazing film I’ve ever seen, I found a lot of inspiration in it — mostly that we can’t doubt the direction our hearts take us.

If you haven’t seen it (go see it right now!!!) I’ll summarize quickly without giving anything away. Forrest Gump is a simple man who grew up in a semi-rural area of Alabama. He’s not a smart guy at all, yet he never doubts himself and never hesitates to pursue his dreams, which are extremely simple in nature.

Throughout the story Forrest finds a new interest in something, either through a promise or a serendipitous experience, and pursues without question and doubt. He’s not smart enough to think twice about whether or not he’s capable, and all he knows is that feeling in his heart that pushes him in a certain direction. He lacks the planning, distracted mind that would otherwise get in the way of his heart.

The story is fictional, and Forrest was very lucky to be in the right place at the right time over and over again. Yet I love being reminded that we need to listen to our heart and let it take us to places that are unknown, difficult, and scary. After all, if you’re doing something that isn’t challenging, it probably isn’t worth doing.

So many of us are too smart for our own good. We over think things far too much. We plan our future more than we live in the moment. We doubt our capabilities. Queue the broken record: stop all that and follow your heart.

My good friend Aaron shared a really neat parable with me that I wanted to share here.  It was originally found on Quora.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”