Monthly Archives: November 2010

The Moustache Effect

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I’ve decided to officially participate in Movember, a movement in November where men raise money for Livestrong and prostate cancer, growing a moustache as the donation vehicle.  I know, pretty serious.  Several Atlassian coworkers–31 to be exact–are mo team members, otherwise known as mo bros.  Our CEO has said he’ll even cut a mohawk if we raise $15k–two mo’s, one bro–full on double mo.

Anyway, today I experienced the moustache effect.  I attended a yoga class at a studio near work today during lunch.  After class I had a heart-to-heart chat with the instructor, Dave, about masculinity, the practice of yoga, and the desire for inner peace.  Halfway into the deep conversation it hit me: I have a fucking moustache right now.  Immediately I was embarrassed and distracted, realizing I really can’t be taken seriously with a moustache.  This, my friends, is the moustache effect.  Walkers and runners around the world endure physical pain walking and running for a cure for breast cancer.  Mo bros endure ego hits and a month of self confidence issues.

Gossip’s Effect on Happiness

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Gossip is a crutch we often lean on in times of doubt and malcontent, a common source for heightened anger and exaggerated feelings.  Sure, sometimes gossip is playful.  But often we create gossip with the intention of making ourselves feel better, expelling all our thoughts and frustrations.  We consume gossip to help friends vent their frustrations.  And gossip can also be very entertaining, often influencing us to get the low down dirt on a date, coworker, or celebrity.  An entire industry exists around celebrity gossip.  OMG did you see what Britney Spears wore last night?!  She looked so fat.

Gossiping about our problems makes us feel better temporarily, venting everything pent up and freeing those emotions begging to get out.  However, gossip isn’t a sustainable path to a happy, more peaceful state of mind.  Gossiping about our problems calms our emotions for a short period of time, but venting doesn’t solve the root problem.  Let’s look at an example.  Suppose my roommate bothers me a lot when he doesn’t do his dishes.  (Matt and Jon, this is purely hypothetical.)  Gossiping to my coworkers won’t help my roommate to do his dishes.  Instead I should chat with my roommate, or, even better, develop an inner peace that allows me to be patient and tolerant with my roommate’s habits.  More on inner peace later.  Lastly, if my roommate ever learns I’ve been saying bad things about him, it’s possible our relationship might be soured.  Not only does gossip not help me to overcome a problem, gossip can also jeopardize true and meaningful relationships.

With gossip we reap what we sow.  The time we spend developing patience, tolerance, and compassion for others is partially reset when we speak poorly of someone else.  Instead of gossiping about a situation or person, think about how you can improve your state of mind–your attitude.  Use times of frustration to teach yourself patience and tolerance.  Challenge yourself to work towards inner peace instead of changing the world around you.  Remember, our enemy–or in this case someone or something bothering us–is our best teacher of patience and tolerance.  When you turn a tough situation into a learning experience for patience and tolerance, you’ll be happier immediately, and your long term inner peace will be maintained.

In closing I’d like to leave you with an excerpt from Shantideva‘s Guide, a neat piece of Buddhist literation I discovered while reading the Dalai Lama’s Healing Anger.

Where would I possibly find enough leather
With which to cover the surface of the earth?
But (wearing) just leather on the soles of my shoes
Is equivalent to covering the earth with it.

Likewise it is not possible for me
To restrain the external course of things;
But should I restrain this mind of mine
What would be the need to restrain all else?

Verse 13-14

San Francisco, My Home

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At some point one transitions their affinity from their upbringing to their current life.  That transition has happened for me.  I grew up in Los Angeles, leaving to attend the University of Washington in Seattle.  My love is in Los Angeles for family, childhood friends, and childhood memories.  My heart is in San Francisco, the city I now call home.

The San Francisco Giants just won the World Series.  This post was originally motivated by the scrutiny I received from friends still in Los Angeles, where the Dodgers–the mortal enemy of San Francisco–are based.  The scrutiny caused me to evaluate my life, trying to define what “home” really means.  The old saying goes, “Home is where the heart lies.”  But what does that really mean?  Does that mean home is where your loved ones live, where your significant other wants to live?  Or is home a location that matches one’s personality, interests, and passions?

I’ve decided one’s home is the location of comfort, the city, suburb, town, or village where we all want to return to after a tough breakup, a long vacation, or a World Series celebration.  One’s home is the embodiment of one’s self in a physical location.  I like to think my persona is comparable to San Francisco, each desiring to be spontaneous, change the world with technology, and smile and laugh with friends and strangers.

I’ve lived in San Francisco for just over two years.  I want to spend the rest of my life here, or at least in a neighboring suburb.  I’m in love with this city: its access to the outdoors, its energy, its residents, its eats and drinks, its beauty, its character.  I challenge you to seek after a home when you’re ready.  Finding a place you can relate to is a powerful realization, a realization that will make you happy to discover.

San Francisco Giants World Series Win and the Riot

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The San Francisco Giants won the World Series last night, defeating the Texas Rangers in five games. The city has been stunningly electric for the last several weeks, climaxing last night with an all-night party in the streets of San Francisco. All the major neighborhoods had their streets filled with celebration: Haight, Mission (several places), Knob Hill, the list goes on. And one of the celebrations turned violent, breaking into a riot. #sfriot trended on Twitter, tweets highlighting events occurring throughout the evening.

I was shocked to hear that some celebrations turned violent. I’ve always thought of San Francisco residents as friendly and warm. I was almost in denial that my beloved city would turn violent! My friends and I were celebrating in the Mission on 16th between Valencia and Guerrero; the video above has several of my friends in it. The crowd there was wildly enthusiastic, happy, and pacifistic. We were all having fun, smiling, hugging, and high-fiving. From the brief research I’ve done I believe the only true rioting occurred near 22nd on Mission street, a part of the city that isn’t known for being friendly and welcoming during the evening.

San Francisco hosts many parades and street parties throughout the year, and sometimes these get ugly. One such street party is the famous Castro Halloween bash, where downtown Castro is filled from sidewalk to sidewalk with people. This famous party has seen shootings every few years, suspects often coming from outside of town. San Francisco is a remarkable city in that people join together in celebration, crowding the streets, drinking in public, and being merry. And unfortunately these large gatherings are chaotic enough to hide fowl play, attracting sketchy people planning to cause trouble. Last night was just that. In the midst of a city-wide street celebration, some sketchier people decided to get violent because they could. Celebrations should be happy and non-violent, people!

Anyway, the intention of this post is to communicate that San Francisco isn’t generally a rowdy city. Last night’s celebrations were violence-free everywhere except 22nd and Mission, an area that isn’t all that safe at night to begin with. I personally had the night of my life, never before feeling so much energy around me. I probably gave 500 high-fives and 100 hugs, connecting with the electricity this city has had during the road to the World Series. Go Giants, be careful, peace, and love!

Panorama photo: 22nd and Mission fire truck dance party. Source
Header photo: 16th and Valencia after the 2010 World Series. Credit